


Mac and Dennis Get Married

by staticpalmz



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Fake Marriage, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9565409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticpalmz/pseuds/staticpalmz
Summary: 6:00 pmOn a FridayPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania"Mac and Dennis Get Married"It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia





	

**Author's Note:**

> Script format, 4 "scenes".

OPENING SHOT of a fancy restaurant  
cut to MAC and DENNIS eating at a table on one of their monthly dinners

MAC: Listen, Den, I know I have said some stuff and its been floating around but I just gotta make it clear...

MAC looks around and leans in close

MAC: I'm gay! 

MAC smiles, but he seems a bit nervous 

DENNIS continues to eat, takes a drink, and finally offers a reaction

DENNIS: Dude, I know. I mean we've been practically married for what? 20 plus years now.

DENNIS chuckles

MACs eyes go wide

MAC: We're married?!?

DENNIS: Well, no, I'm just joking, man. I just mean we live together and do this monthly dinner thing.

DENNIS jesters to their fancy food and shrugs

One can practically see the wheels turning in MAC head 

MAC: well, if were married...

DENNIS opens his mouth as if to interrupt but changes his mind and let's MAC continue

MAC: ...than we NEED rings.

DENNIS looks incredulously at MAC

DENNIS: uh no we don't.

MAC puts his finger up to DENNISs mouth

MAC: yes we do! Don't worry, nothing crazy. Just some sensible silver bands...

DENNIS pulls away from MAC, insulted

DENNIS: well if you must give me a ring I want something more impressive than a "sensible" band!

 

****

 

CUT to PADDY'S PUB

DEE is wiping down the bar while CHARLIE fidles with a broken beer tap

MAC and DENNIS enter. MACs wedding band is barely noticeable, but DENNISs diamond ring catches the bar's dim flouresent lights

MAC excitedly runs over to CHARLIE and grabs his shoulders

MAC: Dude, guess what?

CHARLIE wiggles uncomfortabky under his friend's grasp

CHALRIE: what?

MAC: Dennis and I are gay married!

CHARLIE looks to MACs hand and then at DENNISs, letting out a breathy laugh

DEE looks at the three men, befuddled

DENNIS walks over to MAC and CHARLIE, removing MACs hands from CHARLIEs shoulders

DENNIS: No, we are not married. Everything is the same, Mac just got it into his head to buy us some new jewelry

DENNIS explains calmly, side eyeing MAC

FRANK now enters the shot from through the office door

DEE: Hey Frank! These two boners got married!

DEE gabs her thumb towards MAC and DENNIS

FRANK turns on his heels towards DENNIS

FRANK: Married?! Haven't I told you marriage is a scam? Just look what your whore mother did to me!

DENNIS rolls his eyes

DENNIS: Yes, you've mentioned it once or twice, Frank.

FRANK: You never listen to me. Whatever, I don't give a shit. I need you all to help me find my gun

DEE, DENNIS, CHARLIE, and MAC all break into a chorus of protests at this request 

 

****

 

CUT to MAC AND DENNIS APARTMENT

MAC is busying himself in the kitchen, which looks as if no one has every busy-ed themselves in it ever

DENNIS enters and looks surprised to see MAC holding a sauce pan

DENNIS: Whatcha doing there, buddy?

DENNIS raises his right eyebrow and MAC quickly turns around to look at him

MAC: I'm making you dinner. I'm a housewife now!

DENNIS: What the hell are you talking about?

MAC: Sorry, houseHUSBAND.

MAC looks proud at his correction and DENNIS looks confused 

DENNIS: No you're not. You don't have to do any of this, man. Just come watch the game with me like before. Just do what you did before, that's what made me like you.

DENNIS testers towards living room

MAC absorbs this and nods his head

MAC: Okay. This is actually good because I can't really cook, man.

MAC and DENNIS laugh and retire to the couch, a football game plays while they sit close, side by side.

After some time, MAC reaches for the remote and pauses the TV and looks at DENNIS

DENNIS: what?

MAC: Listen, I agree our set- up before was pretty sweet... 

DENNIS: Totally.

MAC: ...but hear me out, what if ONE thing changed?

MAC raises an eyebrow

DENNIS: And what thing would that be?

DENNIS tilts his head, willing to entertain whatever MACs request might be

MAC slowly raises his right pointer finger. With his other hand he forms the "OK" symbol. Looking DENNIS in the eyes, he sticks his single finger through the ring once and pulls it back out. He then turns both hands up in an inquisitive way, as if to ask "so what do you say?"

DENNIS watches the silent question and looks into MACs puppy dog eyes

DENNIS: Hmmm, I like the way you think, hubby 

DENNIS winks

 

****

 

CUT to PADDY'S PUB

DEE and CHARLIE are drinking at the darkened bar

CHARLIE: I can't believe a stray cat actually ate Frank's gun. What would even compell a cat to do that?

DEE: I don't know or care. Can you believe Dennis is married, before ME?!

DEEs words are slightly slurred

CHARLIE: Well, you heard Dennis. Its not legal or anything.

DEE: Did you see the diamond on his ring, Charlie?? Now any guy who wants to give me a ring is gonna have to beat that, or at least match it!

CHARLIE girns mischievously

CHARLIE: I wouldn't worry, no guys are exactly clamoring to give you a ring, Dee.

DEE: Wow thanks, did I ask for your input?

CHARLIE: Uh yes! You specifically asked me a question!

DEE: No, I didn't!

CHARLIE: Yes, you did!

DEE: Well, in the future, just assume I didn't.

CHALRIE: What?

DEE: Yeah, you give awful input, Charlie, and I don't want it anymore.

CHARLIE: I give EXCELLENT INPUT!

DEE: UM, NO YOU DON'T.

CHARLEI hops off the bar stool, clearly offered at this insult against the quality of his input

CHARLIE: I'LL INPUT MY FIST TO YOUR FACE!

 

****

ROLL CREDITS

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic , it was interesting to write in the script format! Hope you enjoyed 


End file.
